Vampire vs Shinobi
by Tsarina Torment
Summary: Sasuke gets taken out of Konoha and dumped into the world of Twilight. All the girls adore him, especially Bella which annoys Edward to no end but Sasuke's more interested in working out what the hell calculus is!
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Twilight or Naruto**

Of three things I am certain:

Edward Cullen is an idiot

I want to see his blood spilling everywhere

I hate his guts

Perhaps I ought to introduce myself. I am Uchiha Sasuke, 17 years old and, until recently, a shinobi of Konohagakure. I say until recently because somehow I've been dragged into some random town and forced to attend some random school. Unfortunately, 'vegetarian' vampires attend 'my' school too. Vegetarian vampires. Pah. They still drink blood. If they truly _were_ vegetarian, they'd eat grass. The worst one of all is Edward Cullen. Today is my first day (so don't ask how I know that they're vampires – I just do) and all I see is girls simpering after him. Oh well, rather him than me. But I'm not supposed to be ranting about bloodsuckers; I'm supposed to be doing 'calculus'. What the hell is 'calculus' aside from a bunch of numbers? What am I supposed to do?

"Are you OK?" a girl asks me. "Are you stuck?" I 'hn' at her, but she's not deterred. "Well, this goes here like that..." I switch off, not listening to her. "... and that's the answer." I 'hn' again. "Oh, by the way, I'm Bella." She waits for my name.

"Sasuke."

"Sasuke... that's an unusual name," she comments. So what? So's Bella. To my annoyance, she sits down next to me and starts some idle chatter. Kami! She's worse than Sakura!

"Bella!" a young man – ahem 100 year old vampire – calls.

"Just a minute, Edward," she calls back. "It was nice to talk to you, Sasuke," she says. "I hope we can be friends."

"Hn." Go away and take your vampire boyfriend with you.

"Bella!" Cullen walks up and grabs her arm, pulling her away. I don't miss the glare he sends my way. It says 'I'll deal with you later'. Not that I care. I'm a fully trained shinobi – he's a stupid bloodsucker. Not even on my radar. SO what if he's got the unholy strength of the damned and can move at frightening speeds? I. Don't. Care. He's still a stupid bloodsucker while I'm a powerful shinobi.

The rest of the day passes without incident. Unless you count all Cullen's fan girls deciding that I'm cuter than he is. Which is annoying.

* * *

At the end of school, I walk out through the car park. Bella waves at me and comes over.

"Do you want a lift?" she asks. I shake my head.

"Uchiha!" Cullen shouts, walking over to where I'm standing with his girlfriend. "Bella, go home. I need to have a chat with Uchiha and it would be best if you weren't around." She scowls and stalks off. Cullen turns to me with a pleasant smile on his face. "Let's take a walk." He leads me into the school playing field.

"What do you want, Cullen?" I ask.

"Stop flirting with my girlfriend," he snaps. "I don't care what you do with the other girls but don't play with Bella." I look at him coolly, but inside I'm seething.

"I don't like her." His face contorts into a scowl.

"Liar!" He lunges at me, fangs bared. I dodge scornfully, activating my Sharingan. He sees my kekkei genkai and snarls, like a beast.

"What are you?"

"A shinobi." I draw several kunai from my shurikan holster (which I'd kept hidden) and threw them at him. Before he could react, a shape blurred in front of him and the kunai hit that instead. It's Bella. She gasps and clutches at her throat, where my kunai hit her.

"Bella!" Cullen shouts, catching her as she falls and cradling her in his arms. His amber eyes are full of first concern, then anger as he glares at me.

"Die, Uchiha!" he snarls, gently laying the dying Bella down on the grass. My kunai hurl through the air and strike him, forcing him to stagger back. Before he has time to recover, I form the Seals for 'Firestyle: Dragonflame jutsu' and incinerate him. And before anyone says anything about overkill, let me say one thing. OK, two things.

1) He deserved it

2) I know the legends surrounding those damned bloodsuckers. I either have to chop him into thousands of minute pieces or incinerate him to kill him. I went for the cleaner, more efficient option.

I walk over to Bella. The stupid girl is whimpering. I bend down and extract the kunai embedded in her throat.

"Sas-uke," she gasps. I ignore her and walk away, then pause and turn around.

"You shouldn't have tried to get so close to me," I tell her. "Because that's why the vampire's dead and you'll soon be joining it." She looks shocked. I start to walk away again, but I can't. I watch Isabella Swan (yes I do know her name) die - her breaths rattling. It's nothing new to me – I've killed before. As she dies, the trees sway on the breeze and everything fades away to be replaced by the busy streets of Konoha. The last thing I see in _that_ world is a wolf or two and a vampire running towards me.

**I have a few epilogues coming up (one in the Twilight world and one in the Naruto world), just so you know. If you want to flame me for killing Edward/Bella (or anything else), go ahead but I don't see why you would (I hate them in case you hadn't realised. In fact, I hate the whole Twilight saga so I don't know why I wrote this – the idea just popped into my head. I think I just wanted to show that a) Sasuke is way better than Edward and b) the Naruto story is way better than the Twilight saga)**


	2. Epilogue 1 Twilight

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Twilight**

* * *

"Edward! Bella!" Alice called. She knelt down by the dead girl and sighed. "They're dead."

"And the one that killed them is gone," said Jacob.

Seth whined, having not transformed back into human form.

"But that doesn't matter!" the Alpha snarled. "I'll track him down and tear him apart!"

Seth raised his head and howled.

* * *

**It's short, but so what? It's only an epilogue. Tell you what, to make up for it I'll update the Naruto epilogue right now.**


	3. Epilogue 2 Naruto

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Twilight**

*** * ***

Sasuke jerked when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and sighed when he saw Naruto.

"Teme! What happened? You just spaced out suddenly and I couldn't get through to you!"

Sasuke shrugged.

"Nothing." He twitched in discomfort.

"Teme?" Naruto asked. "Are you OK?"

"It's nothing," Sasuke muttered, but inwardly he felt uneasy. He knew that someone from _that_ place had just vowed to kill him. A flicker of fear appeared in his mind. If he was ever sent back... he might die.

* * *

**And that's the end of this tale. Reviews please? As I've said before, if you want to flame me, go ahead.**

**Tsarina Torment**


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